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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:13 pm 
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Yeah, there's now a different Matthew Santos song without the keening. I can't tell you anything else about it because I don't remember, which I consider a plus.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:20 pm 
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The security service commercial with the knight on horseback riding up to deliver the message "All is well" or similar and offering to "take this duel to the stable". Just listen to the "Z copy" at the end of the pot. Take that to the stable.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 11:21 am 
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Is it Merlin or Merherin? Because, according to your stupid jingle, it's the latter.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 4:11 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
Yeah, there's now a different Matthew Santos song without the keening. I can't tell you anything else about it because I don't remember, which I consider a plus.


I just heard it, and it's about as bad as the first one...which is really quite an accomplishment.

The tone of these commercials really irks me, as if they're some benevolent entity that exists for the sole purpose of unselfishly granting people the ability to achieve their dreams.

Fuck you.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 5:01 pm 
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I am sure this has been mentioned previously, but I cannot search such a massive number of pages.

The commercials that irritate me the most lately are the fake interview commercials. They will get a lawyer or a mortgage broker and he will be "interviewed" by a radio personality. I find these commercials to be a complete insult to anyone's intelligence.

I am going on record as saying that I will never purchase a product from any business marketing itself in this way. Also, I will never buy American Family Insurance, because I am still holding a grudge over that commercial that was mentioned a few pages ago.

Why would anybody think it is a good business plan to sell insurance by playing one of the worst songs that has ever been recorded? To me, by playing this horrific song, you are practically begging people to not buy your insurance. But what do I know? I was an accounting major - not a marketing major.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:31 pm 
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Tad Queasy wrote:
Curious Hair wrote:
Yeah, there's now a different Matthew Santos song without the keening. I can't tell you anything else about it because I don't remember, which I consider a plus.


I just heard it, and it's about as bad as the first one...which is really quite an accomplishment.

The tone of these commercials really irks me, as if they're some benevolent entity that exists for the sole purpose of unselfishly granting people the ability to achieve their dreams.

Fuck you.


Yeah, aside from the horrible singing, the commercials don't even make sense with respect to their core message of "protecting your dreams." This is just some guy who is trying to get airplay for his music. It's a dream, but not something insurable, which is the whole point of their commercials.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:46 pm 
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stoneroses86 wrote:


I am going on record as saying that I will never purchase a product from any business marketing itself in this way.


I'd extend that sentiment to businesses whose commercials give you a phone number to call but don't give you a website to research.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 1:46 pm 
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So, let's leave aside the commercials themselves just for a second: is there any actual evidence that Jake's Mint Chew doesn't cause cancer? I'm no oncologist, but it seems to me having anything in your mouth like that could possibly cause cancer. I don't see how it being non-tobacco or "natural" is supposed to help all that much.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 1:54 pm 
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MattInTheCrown wrote:
So, let's leave aside the commercials themselves just for a second: is there any actual evidence that Jake's Mint Chew doesn't cause cancer? I'm no oncologist, but it seems to me having anything in your mouth like that could possibly cause cancer. I don't see how it being non-tobacco or "natural" is supposed to help all that much.


Is mint a carcinogen?

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 2:16 pm 
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I suppose it depends on the processing.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 2:23 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
I suppose it depends on the processing.


It's not even that.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 7:35 pm 
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Really getting tired of these lazy writers:

Sportsclips: "Instant win" ticket, where you can "win instantly."
Comcast: "Business specialists, specializing in business."

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 7:55 pm 
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Jaw Breaker wrote:
Really getting tired of these lazy writers:

Sportsclips: "Instant win" ticket, where you can "win instantly."
Comcast: "Business specialists, specializing in business."


Oh, what luck! I've found a transcript of that Comcast spot. I was afraid I'd have to do it myself.


PROLOGUE
::ker-chunk:: Built for business.

Press 1 to speak with someone who knows nothing about business. Press 2 to speak to someone who knows just enough about business to make you regret you called. Press 3 to hear these options again. With something as important as your business internet, wouldn't it be nice just to speak directly with a business expert? That's why Comcast Business has vetted and trained more than 1,700 dedicated business specialists to provide business-grade service 24/7/365. Business specialists, specializing in business. If you switch to Comcast Business Internet today, they're giving you a thirty-day money back guarantee, with speeds up to 150 megabits per second, and better value. It's a pretty smart call. Speaking of calling, here's the number: 800.501.6000. Or visit comcast business dot com. Comcast Business.

EPILOGUE
::ker-chunk:: Built for business.

---

They say "business" 14 times in a 60-second spot.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 11:17 pm 
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This commercial for a radio antenna in your phone invokes 9/11. I wish it didn't.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:41 pm 
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Jaw Breaker wrote:
Tad Queasy wrote:
Curious Hair wrote:
Yeah, there's now a different Matthew Santos song without the keening. I can't tell you anything else about it because I don't remember, which I consider a plus.


I just heard it, and it's about as bad as the first one...which is really quite an accomplishment.

The tone of these commercials really irks me, as if they're some benevolent entity that exists for the sole purpose of unselfishly granting people the ability to achieve their dreams.

Fuck you.


Yeah, aside from the horrible singing, the commercials don't even make sense with respect to their core message of "protecting your dreams." This is just some guy who is trying to get airplay for his music. It's a dream, but not something insurable, which is the whole point of their commercials.


His new, less-terrible song sounds too much like Hercules & Love Affair: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtDP8iNr-_4

Sue him for $7 million.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 10:31 am 
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I don't regularly read this thread so I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I always laugh at that Subaru commercial where the mom says of her daughter, "She grew up in the back seat of my Subaru." :lol: What genius marketeer let that get past him? In the end a cute teenage girl looks at the mom staring at her and says, "What?" I'm figuring the mom found the used rubber in the back seat.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 10:59 am 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
I don't regularly read this thread so I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I always laugh at that Subaru commercial where the mom says of her daughter, "She grew up in the back seat of my Subaru." :lol: What genius marketeer let that get past him? In the end a cute teenage girl looks at the mom staring at her and says, "What?" I'm figuring the mom found the used rubber in the back seat.

I have a thing for the mom.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2015 10:19 am 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
I don't regularly read this thread so I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I always laugh at that Subaru commercial where the mom says of her daughter, "She grew up in the back seat of my Subaru." :lol: What genius marketeer let that get past him? In the end a cute teenage girl looks at the mom staring at her and says, "What?" I'm figuring the mom found the used rubber in the back seat.

The kind of genius marketeer who doesn't think about preteen girls having sex?


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 4:26 pm 
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MattInTheCrown wrote:
So, let's leave aside the commercials themselves just for a second: is there any actual evidence that Jake's Mint Chew doesn't cause cancer? I'm no oncologist, but it seems to me having anything in your mouth like that could possibly cause cancer. I don't see how it being non-tobacco or "natural" is supposed to help all that much.


I have no clue what the fuck is going on in their latest commercial. Sounds similar to the one in which Matty A sits down with whatshisfacetheattorneyorrealestateguy.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:01 pm 
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Tad Queasy wrote:
Curious Hair wrote:
Yeah, there's now a different Matthew Santos song without the keening. I can't tell you anything else about it because I don't remember, which I consider a plus.


I just heard it, and it's about as bad as the first one...which is really quite an accomplishment.

The tone of these commercials really irks me, as if they're some benevolent entity that exists for the sole purpose of unselfishly granting people the ability to achieve their dreams.

Fuck you.


Companies pay big $ for advertising campaigns. I have no idea how the executives of this insurance company came to the conclusion that playing shitty Mathew Santos music in an ad would entice people to buy their insurance.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 1:38 pm 
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Tad Queasy wrote:
The sound of children singing displeases me.

The new Jeep commercial with children singing and then humming is brutal.

It displeases everyone. They're little better when speaking. I've said it time and again, but children should not be featured in ads, especially radio ads, where you have to hear them.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2015 8:14 pm 
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That fucking commercial where the guy calls into his cell provider asking about his "stolen" data plan. Read your contract bitch. Fuck that guy.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2015 9:00 pm 
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SpiralStairs wrote:
That fucking commercial where the guy calls into his cell provider asking about his "stolen" data plan. Read your contract bitch. Fuck that guy.


Yeah, I think I'm echoing what Curious Hair or someone said in this thread, but any commercial where the protagonist, with whom we are supposed to identify, is taking shit out on a $10 an hour call center employee, or a drive thru employee, or the return clerk at a big box store, loses me. That one in particular, and the smarm in that guys voice, seems to think little of even the people it is targeting. "That's me, I'm a dick just like that guy! I bet she never saw that coming. Hoo, boy! Fuck you, Verizon lady!"

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 12:16 am 
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Telegram Sam wrote:
SpiralStairs wrote:
That fucking commercial where the guy calls into his cell provider asking about his "stolen" data plan. Read your contract bitch. Fuck that guy.


Yeah, I think I'm echoing what Curious Hair or someone said in this thread, but any commercial where the protagonist, with whom we are supposed to identify, is taking shit out on a $10 an hour call center employee, or a drive thru employee, or the return clerk at a big box store, loses me. That one in particular, and the smarm in that guys voice, seems to think little of even the people it is targeting. "That's me, I'm a dick just like that guy! I bet she never saw that coming. Hoo, boy! Fuck you, Verizon lady!"


I've been meaning to post about this one for a while. Like you said, that's about as unsympathetic of a protagonist as you're going to find. His voice is so annoying he sounds like a composite of Adam Hoge, Adam Harris, and David Schuster.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 9:03 am 
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Those On-cor commercials where the family members are humming the jingle and then mom brings out a lasagna smiling like she actually cooked a meal. Bitch, all you did was open a bag of lettuce and put something in the oven.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 9:08 am 
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Has anyone seen the one for the therapeutic tubs?
The acting is off the charts bad. I mean worse than a high school project bad.
The one guy... After my accident (dramatic pause) the... pain (face to demonstrate pain) was unbearable.

The crazy smiling old lady who just pops into the bathroom as her neighbor, friend, daughter whatever is in the bath... oh you got a therapeutic tub too!

I hate whoever put this campaign together.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 7:40 pm 
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Darkside wrote:
Has anyone seen the one for the therapeutic tubs?
The acting is off the charts bad. I mean worse than a high school project bad.
The one guy... After my accident (dramatic pause) the... pain (face to demonstrate pain) was unbearable.

The crazy smiling old lady who just pops into the bathroom as her neighbor, friend, daughter whatever is in the bath... oh you got a therapeutic tub too!

I hate whoever put this campaign together.


"Darkside, look how tense you are. You need to take a soak."


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 7:42 pm 
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But all I have is a milk tank and an outboard motor.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 7:46 pm 
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Darkside wrote:
But all I have is a milk tank and an outboard motor.


I now picture you attempting Houdini like escapes with the milk tank out back.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 2:43 pm 
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My son, Brayden, is almost five. Can he drive with Uber?

Kill yourself, lady. Brayden and the rest of us will be better off.

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